Monday

The second e-book is nearly finished, printed it off today and checked for errors. Found a couple so back for revision. Looking good though! Spent ages this afternoon looking for an Adobe button to link to their website, think I've found one and will try to put it on our website later. I wish I knew more about computers!!

Sunday

Ok, now it's Sunday and I'm writing Sundays blog! This is a bit of a novelty this week writing the blog on its due day. We've had quite a relaxing day just hanging about in the garden soaking up the rays. The weather's been great again this weekend so we are making the most of it. Little'uns dad (D.F.B we call him, Dick For Brains) was around to see him this morning, he used to come every Sunday morning but the novelty has worn off lately. I can count on one hand how many times he's been around this year, he couldn't even make it for Little'uns birthday Loser! It's a shame really because I think he's a knob and wouldn't care if he never came around again but Little'un loves him to bits. I can put up with 2 hours of D.F.B on a Sunday if it makes the little man happy and how else would I get to piss in his tea?!
We came up with a great idea for a new business, so watch this space! Before you ask it has nothing to do with pissing in tea but if it works for you........!!

Saturday

Nearly caught up! Felt a bit better today maybe it was the medicine or maybe it's just because I had something to blame the weirdness on and it's all a load of bollocks! I'm not really sure what the doctor gives me anyway, he probably thinks here he is again, fuck all wrong with him so give him the placebo! I'd never know and, thinking I'm taking something which makes me better, I get better? I'm quite keen on conspiracy theories even when they are crap, some people have taken a lot of time and effort to construct them!
I was home babysitting today and when the little'un was in bed and I was all alone I had a take-away for supper. I love curry and was looking forward to it but (here it is again 'BUT'), it was fucking horrible! First off there was no naan bread (which I paid for), the salad looked like it had been out in the garden all day for the tortoises and the curry (I use the word loosely) tasted like someone had already eaten it once! Grrr! I wont be going back there in a hurry, luckily there is another curry house almost next door, maybe I'll try them next time!

Friday

I was going to play catch up today but we had quite a stressful afternoon/evening and really didn't feel in the mood. Also I've been feeling pretty weird lately. I've been on a new course of medicine to control my asthma and, due to the change in seasons, my hayfever. I presume it's the medicine that's making me feel weird and I've stopped taking it to make sure. I've been feeling very anxious, like the bottom is going to fall out of my world at any moment, and the more I try to understand why I'm feeling like this I feel more bloody anxious. Great! If it's not the medicine maybe it's the pressure of writing a blog everyday? Lol! We'll have to wait and see!

Thursday

Got well behind now on my blog as it's Sunday now! Went to the barber this week and got a haircut, I used to do it myself but my significant other thinks when I shave my head I look like a thug and scare young children. I love her, so now I get it 'styled'. £7.50 to sit in the chair for five minutes! I wouldn't mind so much because it does look better and there isn't much chance of walking around for a week with people pointing and laughing at a large clump of hair on the back of my head which I missed! But, why is there always a fucking BUT? The but is the inane chat from the hairdresser, she seems like a nice lady and has been cutting my hair fairly regularly for the past 2 years so surely must recognise me. Therefore if she recognises me she must have some form of hairdresser tourettes syndrome which causes her, as soon as I sit in that damn chair, to ask me if I've booked a holiday yet! Why? Are all hairdressers the same? Do they have shares in travel agencies and as soon as you are in that chair wrapped tightly in that plastic sheet they play you until agree to take a time share in Tenerife? I always deflect her with the fact that I cant afford it, this has a duel effect of her not pursuing the holiday line and, she doesn't seem put out when I don't tip her! Maybe next time I'll tell her I'm thinking about going away and see what happens!?

Wednesday

Took the cat (number 2 of 2) to the vets today. It was the second time I've taken him, and I think he's starting to cotton on to the fact that the blue box means pointy, nasty things! Didn't want to get in it then didn't want to get out! Howled like a banshee in between. He keeps staring at me now with a look that says 'when you go to sleep I'm going to lay on your face and suffocate you'. I've not been much in the way of a pet person before but now we have 2 cats and 2 tortoises and I think I'm getting a bit better. Probably a lot better than the time we took the cat to the vets with a kidney problem and was told it was going to cost a fortune to keep him alive. I don't think my girlfriend was too impressed when I said ' leave him here and I'll get you a new one for a fiver!' I think she may have forgiven me now! Just!
Pets or ex-wives? I choose pets every time!!

Tuesday (on Wednesday)

A day late again!! Had the boys over last night and the computer is like a magnet to my eldest so getting on here just wouldn't be worth the hassle! I've been estranged from their mother for four and a half years, divorced for three and a half, so why the fuck doesn't she leave me alone. She has some sort of compulsion to text me to ask questions that the boys, sat in the next room, could answer and probably have! She sent me a letter recently highlighting all my inadequacies and asked, no, told me, not to share it with the boys. Stupid bitch left it on the desktop on her laptop and one of them read it! He told me but doesn't want her to know! Lol! I'm going to save her for another day because thinking about her is making me depressed!!

Monday

Today is St Georges day, the patron saint of England, you'd think he was the patron saint of STD's or leper colonies the way we approach it here! Recently when it was St Patricks day there were all kind of events going on and tri-colours all over the place, today I counted TWO houses flying the cross of St George! Everybody is afraid to be patriotic in case they are branded as racist. We need to take our flag back from the BNP and the football hooligans and be proud to be English.
It's hard to be English, it seems that, for whatever reason almost every other country hates us and to hide our embarrassment we are losing our identity. You know we don't even have a national anthem we use the British anthem (God save the Queen)! We need to have a pride in our heritage and be proud to say we are English! On the 23rd of April next year every house should fly the cross of St George! Hooray to St George!!

Sunday (written on Monday)

I'm determined to write one of these a day but keep missing a day and have to play catch up!GRRR! I think it's my age and am sure I need a full time carer! Take for example my medicine, after I was ill over the winter I'm having to control my asthma better and the doctors have been trying different combinations of medicine. I have to take 2 puffs of my new inhaler at night and 2puffs in the morning, also I have one tablet to take before bed. Simple? You'd think so. I've, so far, taken the tablets for four days (they have the days of the week on each pill to help me remember if I've taken one but unfortunately it's in Spanish) and have managed to take 2 in the morning and 2 at night. They are some sort of sodium tablet and they make my lips shrink and my mouth look like a cats arse! Nice Look!

Saturday

Strange sort of day today, looked after the litte'un while the missus had her hair done. Everything was fine 'till he shit his pants, had to hose him down with the shower, nice! Anyway later on I was watching tv with him in the lounge and there was shit on the tv! No, there was actually shit on the tv! He had wiped it on there because he didn't want it in his pants! Go figure!

Friday (written on Saturday)

Far too busy to write anything yesterday, had my boys round here and by the time I'd ferried them about and got home I was knackered! Fell asleep in Ugly Betty, the tv show, not the lady from number 30!
Was listening to a couple chatting yesterday and I love to hear what other people talk about. She told him she was off on her holidays soon and he replied with; "You going anywhere nice?" Fuck off idiot! Of course she's going somewhere nice or at least she thinks she is. What did he expect in reply? "No, going somewhere shit this year, went to a nice place last year and we don't want to spoil ourselves! Hope it's worse than the shit place we went to the year before because that was better than we expected and if we pay all that money we want what we pay for!" Why do people have to talk just for the sake of it? If you don't have anything worth saying for gods sake keep it zipped!

Thursday

Today my girlfriend was offered a years secondment at work doing something she has wanted to do for ages. She has to have approval from her line manager before she can accept the post. This is an excellent opportunity and would be an invaluable resource for both parties. Her manager is so damn short sighted and doesn't see it as such and may, for totally selfish reasons not let her go! She works for huge national organisation who treat their staff like shit and to my mind it's not just the fault of the company, the managers have to take a large proportion of the blame for this too. It seems as soon as they get a stripe on their arm they become someone else. They forget what it was like working on the shop floor, how to speak to people and they totally lose their sense of humour. It's like a pre-requisite to being a manager is to have a small part of your brain removed so you lose all sense of reason! Obviously all are not like this, it's generally the ones who were lazy and incompetent on the bottom rung of the ladder who become the bloody tyrants! It's quite cliche' to say shit about treating them well on the way up as you may meet them on the way down but I think it's right! If I am lets hope some are in for a hard landing!

On a brighter note something happened today which proved to me in a small way that the little man does sometimes come out on top. I was out on delivery at work last week and one road I go to has a small strip of lawn outside the front of each of the houses adjacent to their driveway. It's about six foot wide and thirty foot long, one step and I'm over! When I got to number 10 the owner was laying in wait and as soon as I stepped on his grass he jumped out of the doorway and said "please don't walk on my garden!" Garden?! It's a scruffy bit of grass but I bit my lip, smiled and promised not to. Today I cut across all the "gardens" until I got to number 10 and there it was, his comeuppance! Something or someone (he probably thought it was me) had done a huge shit in the middle of the grass! Ha Ha! Up yours you petty minded arse!

Wednesday

Something just made me mad!! I was looking around this blog thing, yes found the spellchecker, and came across the profile section. I was happily filling it in when it asked me where I was from. I come from England, I'm sure some of you might have heard of it? Obviously not the blog people who insist I have to come from the United Kingdom! The United Kingdom is not a country it's a number of countries, Scotland's one, Wales is another, get the picture? I know we are pretty crap at most sports nower days but when we won the football World Cup in 1966 Bobby Moore lifted the cup for ENGLAND not the United Kingdom! Grrrr! Blog people; sort it out!!!

First One

How the hell did I get talked into this? I can only type 10 words a minute and most of them aer smelt wrong!! Maybe by tomorrow I'll have come up with something to say that's worthwhile and might have found the damn spellchecker!!