Wednesday, 27 May 2009

Rachel Green

Today I'm playing host to Rachel Green and her blog tour and I got to ask her a few questions which are listed below.


An Ungodly Child wasn’t the sort of book I would usually read and was determined not to like it. You have two wives are you mad?
Fair enough! I did have two wyves. Now I have a wife and a husband, sort-of. Yes. I have been certified mad, but not for that.



Sorry I got distracted a bit. Against my better judgement I actually enjoyed the book and would read the next one but... two wives!... Jasfoup? I had real problems with this name and couldn’t get my head or tongue around it would you consider calling him Bob in further instalments?
I’m very glad you liked it despite yourself. Yes…and I love them both. Jasfoup just is. His name is pronounced Jas (as in pass) foup (as in hoop). I thought of Bob but alas the name was already in use by several people who looked nothing like Jasfoup.


I tend to use my evaporated milk just the once but how do you feel about reincarnation?
Far too sweet for me, I’m afraid. I’ll stick with Elmlea and Eternity.



I did dabble in the occult for a while. I gave up all my worldly goods and was locked in a room made to perform cunnilingus for hours on end. No sorry that was the ‘o’ cult what are your views on the dark arts?
I dabbled in the occult once but it was full of old prams and bicycles. I did dredge up an old shell, though. The ‘o’ culd held my interest for many years and I’ve been published in some relevant journals about the subject. The Dark Arts I have no views about, other than Why Not Turn The Lights On Then, Do You Really Think A Demon Is Going To Think “Oh Noes! Too Bright To Cause Mayhem Without Shades, Man. Apart from that, I tend to side with Jasfoup in that the ‘dark arts’ are just Christians out for a fast buck. Seriously, though, there’s some dark shit out there.


Is it possible one of the cats in my house puts spells on me and is stopping me from winning the lottery? I can see the bitterness in her eyes!
It is entirely possible, yes. You should feed her only fresh tuna for a year. She might let you win the lottery then, on a day that the colour of the sky matches her eyes.


Do you have any tips on getting rid of slugs?
Concrete the whole garden. Failing that, beer traps and the old lob-the-buggers-over-the-fence method.


I know you enjoy painting, me too...
I’ve never painted you
...don’t you just hate it when they print the numbers so small you don’t know which colour paint to use?
That’s why I have imps


The two wives thing that’s a joke right?
One makes me tea and the other makes visitors make me tea

If you’re out on a moonlit night
Be careful of them neighborhood strays
Of a lady with long black hair
Tryin to win you with her feminine ways
Crystal ball on the table
Showing the future, the past
Same cat with them evil eyes
You’d better get out of there fast
Part of Cliff Richards Devil Woman! Now I think he might be a fallen angel, what do you think?
It rather depends if you’re a fan of his or not. I don’t think he Fell, per-se, just skinned his knees a bit.


Do you intend in finding an interesting way to hurt me?
Only if you can afford my rates, otherwise, I’ll leave the hurting tasks to my agent.


Do you think a leatherdyke is practical to withstand torrential rain?
Only if several women are prepared to stick their fingers into the holes.


And on that note we quickly call it a day!!

32 comments:

DJ Kirkby said...

As you know I really enjoyed An Ungodly Child. I was suprised when you decided to read though and even more surprised that you enjoyed it. I wouldn't have said it was 'your kind' of book at all but maybe it is irresitable to anyone who starts reading it!

Leatherdykeuk said...

Thanks for hosting, old bean. Delighted you put the kettle on for me!

Joe Stein said...

You know, I read this stuff and it comforts me to know that there are others out there who are also completely barking...

Leatherdykeuk said...

Woof, Jow, and growl! Whine!

Joe Stein said...

OK, yes, dammit, I really should have seen that one coming...

Hey, if you’re both on that new minute by minute social networking site AND you’re both barking, does that now make you woofers AND tweeters?
(One for the old ghetto blaster owners only.)

Leatherdykeuk said...

*claps*
Oh yes, very good!

Ayoub said...

A fantastic interview! :D

stephanie said...

Excellent! Thanks for hosting Rachel. An Ungodly Child is my pick of the year.

Leatherdykeuk said...

Thanks Ayoub :) Some excellent questions, I thought.

Stephanie -- Thank you. You are too kind!

BT said...

What an excellent interview, most entertaining! Of course I loved An Ungodly Child but then Rachel is my daughter in law - sort of!! It's time some of those stupid publishers saw the talent under their noses and agents. Grrrrr. (I did used to be called Barker).

Leatherdykeuk said...

Heh! Thank you Gina. I can't help but concur.

DK Leather said...

Excellent quick witted interview with my clever wyfe, thank you so much.

~waves to mum~

Leatherdykeuk said...

:)

Chopper said...

Thanks to all the visitors and their comments to this post. I would just like to say that I haven't been called barking since that nice young man in his crisp white coat was struggling to buckle up my arms behind my back in the lovely warm jacket he lent to me. It was so quiet and calm in that building, the walls and floor so soft and bouncy and the dreams after the injections took away some of the pain from the electric shocks! Oh the quiet...

Leatherdykeuk said...

It was indeed a pleasure to have stopped off here :)

My Little Brown Book said...

HAHAHA

'Recincarnation'!! *groan*

Fantastic interview!!

xx

Leatherdykeuk said...

Hey LBB

Good to see you here :0

Joe Stein said...

Chopper,
I wore a straightjacket once. It was to a birthday party where you had to go as a song title. I went as ‘Still crazy after all these years’. Two things I noted. One, at that stage in my life, I didn’t think it was at all odd that I could just borrow a straightjacket from a mate and not have to, er, 'appropriate' one from somewhere. And two, have you ever tried to explain to a policeman at 2 in the morning in central London, that you are not drunk, not insane, not escaped from an asylum and if he would only untie your arms from behind your back, you’d be able to get to your car keys and drive home...

Leatherdykeuk said...

Great story, Joe!

Chopper said...

Joe, I'm amazed that you let someone buckle it up!!

Joe Stein said...

The things you'll do when you're on a promise, eh?
Actually, I was attempting to explain my theories of Houdini's disclocating joints at the time.
Either that or I'd stupidly bet I could get out of it.
(It was a l-o-n-g time ago, but I'm sure one of the above is true.)

nitebyrd said...

You already know this book is on my Amazon wishlist and will be in my hands later this month. I hate being poor and having to wait to buy books!

Chopper you are such an amazing interviewer!

Leatherdykeuk said...

I was almost stumped by one of the questions!

DJ Kirkby said...

Oooh which question stumped you? I would have struggled to answer most if not all of them!

Leatherdykeuk said...

The two wives one. I had to keep quiet about the rest...

Chopper said...

L; You cant have a rest with two wives!!

Leatherdykeuk said...

Yes you can. In fact, they're in London for a couple of days.

DK Leather said...

~LAUGHS~!

Lady in red said...

I just wanted to let you know that I have been asked by Xcite books to do some reives for them. In the first batch of books was Seduce Me so of course the first story I read was Whack which btw I thought was great, that Amanda is a woman with the same sense of fun as me.

How many stories has Ivana written?

Chopper said...

L in R; Just the two the other one was called 'Gym Shoe' and is in the apptly entitled 'Spank me'.

Miss Disaster said...

dropped in to the blog through the black boxes widget. Quite entertaining, and I like the book recommendation. I may have to order it from Amazon.

Leatherdykeuk said...

Thanks, Miss D :)
I hope you enjoy it!