I was reading Spanish Goth's blog earlier and he was talking about all the useless spam he gets. This reminded me of an email I got the other day which I've pasted below. Do people actually reply to this crap? It made a change from the Viagra offers and the penis enlargement advice I usually get.
I know that this letter may come to you as a surprise but due to the urgency of this transaction.First I must solicit your confidence in this transaction, this is by virtue of it's nature as being utterly confidential and top secret. Though I know that a transaction of this magnitude will make any one apprehensive and worried, but I am assuring you that all will be well at the end of the day. There is no doubt that trust conceptually is a conundrum which leadsitself to deferring interpretation, we have decided to contact you due to the urgency of this transaction.
I am the manager of bill and exchange at the foreign remittance department of BANK OF AFRICA(BOA). I came to know you in my private search for a reliable and reputable person to handle this Confidential Transaction, which involves thetransfer of a huge sum of money to a foreign account requiring maximum confidence.
I am writing to you, following the impressive information received about you from the chambers of commerce. I believed that you are capable and reliable to champion this business opportunity. In my department we discovered an abandoned sum of $14.5m US dollars (Fourteen million five hundred thusand US dollars). In an account that belongs to one of our foreign customer who died along with his entire family On 21 July, 2003 in a plane crash in Nairobi Kenya, killing all people on board and you can view the site for more details:http:/http://www.cnn.com/2003/WORLD/africa/07/20/kenya.crash/index.html
Since we got information about his death, we have been expecting his next of kin to come over and claim his money because we cannot release it unless somebody applies for it as next of kin or relation to the deceased as indicated in our banking guidelines but unfortunately we learnt that all his supposed next of kin or relation died alongside with him at the plane crash leaving nobody behind for the claim. It is therefore upon this discovery that I and my colleagues in my department now decided to make this business proposal to you and release the money to you as the next of kin or relation to the deceased for safety and subsequent disbursement since nobody is coming for it and we don't want this money to go into the Bank treasury as unclaimed Bill.
The Banking law and guideline here stipulates that if such money remained unclaimed after six years, the money will be transferred into the Bank treasury as unclaimed fund. The request of foreigner as next of kin in this business is occasioned by the fact that the customer was a foreigner and a Burkinabe cannot stand as next of kin to a foreigner.
We agree that 35% of this money will be for you as foreign partner, in respect to the provision of a foreign account, 5 % will be set aside for expenses incurred after the business and 60 % would be for me and my colleagues. There after I and my colleagues will visit your country for disbursement according to the percentages indicated.
Therefore to enable the immediate transfer of this fund to you as arranged, you must apply first to the bank as relations or next of kin of the deceased indicating your bank name, your bank account number,your private telephone and fax number for easy and effective communication and location where the money will be remitted.
Upon receipt of your reply, I will send to you by fax or email the text of the application. I will not fail to bring to your notice that this transaction is hitch free and that you should not entertain any atom of fear as all required arrangements have been made for the transfer.
You should contact me immediately as soon as you receive this letter.
Trusting to hear from you immediately.
MR. DIALO MOHAMMED
Bill and exchange manager,
BANK OF AFRICA (BOA)