Friday, 27 July 2007


Work is shit at the moment, ever since we started industrial action really, but this week was very shit! We've had arguments, squaring-up, bitching, bullying, tears and that's just me! So today when we had a little light relief it cheered me up no end.

I've been doing overtime with my mate 'big fella' this week and today is the only day we didn't get wet! We'd had quite an uneventful week and today was no exception until that is, we were just about to drive back to the office.

I was driving the big red Tranny and we were delivering parcels. I'd park and while he knocked the door I'd get the next one ready, what a team! Three to go as we stopped outside a house on the main road and this car pulls up beside us. The driver, who is either Scottish or has been stung in the mouth by a bee, opens his door and sticks out his head (not really sure why, cars in Scotland don't have wind-down windows?).

He looks at big fella and starts shouting at him.

"What did he say?" Big fella says to me and I just shrug my shoulders. So he asks him to repeat it, which he does, a bit louder this time like that's going to help. It doesn't!

"Ain't got a clue mate!" Big fella says to him and gets out of the cab, walks past him and goes off to deliver the parcel.

His face is going purple now and I think his head is going to explode so I get out of the van and go and see if I can help.

"What's up?" I ask and receive in reply a tirade which is undecipherable apart from a few words I think I recognise; kilt, whisky, ginger and pair of cunts!

"Try again only this time a bit, no err, a lot, slower!" He does and this time I get the drift. It seems that he thinks we came out of a slip road right in front of him and he had to jamb on the brakes. He wasn't happy!

I try to explain to him that we haven't been up any slip roads, it couldn't have been us and it's a case of mistaken identity. He wasn't having any of it and started ranting again. There is quite a queue of cars built up behind him and one starts beeping its horn. They also get a mouthful, he slams his door shut and drives off!

We drive off bemused to finish the last couple of parcels and see the mad man stop outside his house, he watches us go by. We have to drive past his house on the way back to the office and by a quirk of fate the traffic stops us right outside his house. He's parked his car in the garage now and is just getting out of it when he clocks us again. He tries to rush out of the garage but seems to get caught up in the seat belt and falls forward. As he falls he tries to gain his balance and in doing so knocks all the garden tools neatly hung on the wall which then rain onto the roof of his car. He ends up in a pile on his driveway still staring at us. We look at each other and piss ourselves laughing. The traffic moves and we drive off, laughing all the way back to the office!

Now before all you PC friendly people start telling me that you shouldn't laugh at another persons misfortune, I know but I don't really give a shit because he deserved it and, and, (two ands for special effect) it was as funny as fuck!!


DJ Kirkby said...

Bet he wrote down your plate number! I am amazed that you think you've had an uneventful week at work until today. It all sounds pretty eventful to me, I mean what with 'driving big red Trannys' and all... surely the PO could stretch the budget to provide you with some form of motorized vehicle instead of forcing you to utilise a person with 'gender dress sense' issues as slave labour?

Kahless said...

It would have been funnier if his house was one of the ones you still had to deliver a parcel too.

her indoors said...

i never laugh at other peoples miss fortunes! yeah right and if you beleive that one!
right and you still say you got an U rating ha ha ha fucking ha.
have a great weekend, wow in fact you have a great holiday

Chopski said...

DJ; Big red trannys are great, though built for comfort not for speed!

K; We're thinking about sending him one so we can go visit!

H I; I think I might have to delete your comment as the language is unsuitable for my U rating!

Lady in red said...

very funny