I had to go into the city today to buy a pair of gloves from a Naval outfitters so volunteered to get the groceries on the way home. Why can't I hold my tongue?
I could feel the air getting thinner as I got closer to the store and as I drew up into the car park I felt my body pass through the porthole into an alien world! A world full of women wearing very little clothing over scarily white skin covered in tattoos. A world where children are called, git, brat and little bastard. A world where a 6 foot 3, 200lb guy (me) becomes invisible and is bashed, pushed and jostled without a 'by you leave'. A world where my car has disguised itself as a trolley park, doing such a good job half a dozen shopping trolleys are scattered around it when I go to leave!
I'm not good at shopping and this I believe is because I use a list, buying what it says on said list. When Heather takes a list she uses it as a guide and she comes home with a variety of goodies and whatever was on the list. Consequently if something is missed off the list when I shop it doesn't get bought but with Heather if it isn't bought usually there is something similar as a stand by!
Well, my head is thumping but I think I bought enough to keep us going until Monday and I'm off on Tuesday so I can always make another trip into the twilight zone!
I could feel the air getting thinner as I got closer to the store and as I drew up into the car park I felt my body pass through the porthole into an alien world! A world full of women wearing very little clothing over scarily white skin covered in tattoos. A world where children are called, git, brat and little bastard. A world where a 6 foot 3, 200lb guy (me) becomes invisible and is bashed, pushed and jostled without a 'by you leave'. A world where my car has disguised itself as a trolley park, doing such a good job half a dozen shopping trolleys are scattered around it when I go to leave!
I'm not good at shopping and this I believe is because I use a list, buying what it says on said list. When Heather takes a list she uses it as a guide and she comes home with a variety of goodies and whatever was on the list. Consequently if something is missed off the list when I shop it doesn't get bought but with Heather if it isn't bought usually there is something similar as a stand by!
Well, my head is thumping but I think I bought enough to keep us going until Monday and I'm off on Tuesday so I can always make another trip into the twilight zone!
5 comments:
Hi
This made me laugh till I cried! I like the changes you've made to your blog too. And now that I have finsihed lulling you into a flase sense of security by saying nice things to you I just have 3 more words... TAG! YOU'RE IT!
I'm seriously frightened by your grocery stores then.
My grocery shopping experience is NOTHING like that.
...now, granted....I am a woman...
but still.
Brilliant description of the market. I love shopping for anything but food.
You were nice enough to visit me, so I thought I would come over and look about. I am glad I did. This is funny stuff, and I am reading it while the kitten tries to eat my toes so you know it's good!
and oh my! Thank you for listing me under "Blogs I like". I appreciate that, very kind.
I'm glad I use a different supermarket
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