Last night Channel 4 weather said no rain until Thursday.
Sorry, I'm getting a bit ahead of myself here because I want someone to blame and Channel 4 will do for a start.
We got an offer from the local water board for a free water butt. We accepted not because it was free and I am (not sure of the right word) frugal (that will do) but because we care for the environment. Discounting the fact it is plastic, burnt a hole in the ozone being fabricated and will never bio-degrade it was a good thing to do. Maybe?
The water board offered to fit it free. We frugally accepted this offer too, though worried about their carbon footprint they gave you a slot and if you weren't in when they called, tough! We weren't in. No worries, there are instructions so I will frugally do it.
Unfortunately when I sawed off the drainpipe I must have loosened the joint at the top because yesterday I found part of the gutter in the garden.
Get up your ladder I hear you say. I did this also but the thing isn't or I'm not long enough. But never mind because Channel 4 weather said "NO RAIN UNTIL THURSDAY".
Last night I was woken by the "not rain". Instead of the rain gently washing off the roof, quietly running along the gutter, down the drainpipe and silently filling the water butt it poured off the roof and onto the patio like fucking Niagara Falls!
I could hear it. I shut the bathroom window and still could hear it. The neighbours must have heard it.
So what now? I could get it mended or go the whole hog, dump a mattress in the front garden next to the ASDA trolley full of weeds throw a few Christmas lights (Caroline Smailes) at the front of the house and leave them up all year.
We've got Rednecks in our street. Us!