I've been quite interested in "Spoken Word" lately. A sort of fusion of rap and poetry. I thought I'd have a go and here's my effort, I'm not sure how well it works as "Written Word" does that just make it poetry? Anyway;
JAYNE
I’d seen the young girl many times walking, walking down my street
Pony-tailed hair flip-flops on her feet.
I’d heard other people call her they called her Jayne
She was a pretty one not a plain Jayne, Jayne!
I think she was around 16 or 17
Not as old as 18 but she might have been.
She walked as if she had the whole world on her shoulder
This made her look MAYBE 10 years older!
She always pushed a baby in a dirty old pram
It was well behaved QUIET I never heard it moan
As mummy walked behind smoking and talking on a mobile phone!
Her boyfriend Jeff was a bit of a lad
He was around often don’t know if he was the dad.
JEFF they said was a diamond geezer
But me
I’d seen him tease her squeeze her
He didn’t seem to please her!
She was talking to him now
Talking on the phone
Loudly SHOUTING didn’t care she wasn’t alone!
People watched,
Stopping in the street Jayne didn’t care.
She sighed stubbed out her fag ran her fingers through her hair!
She needed cash money for a fix
Supplement milk and … weetabix.
By her reaction I don’t think she liked what he said
That was when I noticed those bruises on her head!
Grazes and scratches I can’t believe I hadn’t seen
And a gap in her gums where her teeth once had been
She was getting personal now her face turning red
Said some things better left un-said.
She told him
“You make me sick!” and “You’re crap in bed!” and
“You’ve got a little dick” and “I wish you were dead!”
An old fellah told her “Please tone it down!”
“Fuck off!” she said with a scowl and frown.
Two young girls giggled then looked at the floor
I heard a woman whisper “Dirty little whore!”
Jayne hung up the phone and lit another smoke
Then gestured to the crowd with a middle finger poke.
She held her head up high as she pushed away her pram
Determined measured strides like she didn’t give a damn.
They watched her turn the corner forgotten as soon as she’d gone
Unluckily though for her, her life still went on.
10 comments:
You are so clever honey...I loved the sound of this when you read it out loud.
I really like it, Chopper even though it's a sad reality - apparently all over!
very good, I sang it as well!
and what is sad is that is all so true.
No PC at home, and I can't access facebook or Myspace at work, so I'm not sure how it's supposed to sound, but it certainly reads good!
Is it poetry? Absolutely!
And unfortunately, true.
DJ; Thanks hon.
N; I've been working in a very deprived area lately and I'm getting so see it every day!
LW; I wanna hear you sing it then I'm going to post it on you tube.
JS; Hi Joe and thanks. Spookily someone gave me a copy of cold fire, calm rage today which I'm going to start reading tonight!
Found your blog through that Black Box thing.. Love the way this piece rolls off the tongue when read aloud.... Also love the imagery. Awesome stuff, glad I stumbled upon it.
Oh OK, I know who you are now. Came via the black box. Small world! I really loved this (and I am not good with poetry...some bits had me laughing out loud - and that is very rare and beautiful - usually only happens with Country Lite blog). Love to DJ! Janex
really must read my normal blogroll rather than heading off for the thrill of the unknown....
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