- I got bitten again!
- On the leg again (the other one)!
- Swelled up like a balloon again!
- Oozed yucky goo again!
It happened on Friday but didn't swell up until Saturday morning, Saturday when the doctors are closed. If I was going to get any anti-biotics I was going to have to go to A+E or the Minor Injuries Walk in Unit. I plumped for the latter as at A+E I'd be in for the day amongst the blood, beer and urine!
I walked in at 12:20 and went up to reception to be greeted with a sign EXPECT AT LEAST A ONE HOUR WAIT! so I settled down to read my book, the one that I had left on the kitchen table! I scanned the table in front of my chair which was full of magazines, unfortunately they were all Yachting Monthly and held no interest for me whatsoever. So the only thing left for passing the time was a bit of people watching. I wanted to put my sunglasses back on but that would be too obvious, so I would have to be discreet!
I sat back in my chair and had a quick scan of the waiting area, it was surprisingly clean. Not a trace of coal or soot in the place, the miners must have to go home to wash and change before they came in. It's only been open about a year and everything still looked freshly painted and new, there were vending machines for hot and cold drinks, sweets and crisps and a water fountain, all of which were out of order. Oh well, it wasn't as if I had a long wait in the oppressive heat now was it!
The unit uses a numbering system a bit like the cold meat counter at Tesco and when your number is called you take your completed form to reception. Then you wait until the triage nurse comes out and assess you in order of importance or sends you home with a flea in your ear. She does this in the waiting area so everyone knows why you are there (man I'm glad I managed to get my willy out of the milk bottle!). Everybody seemed to be in with a bad leg so when I went up to the counter I limped for effect hoping if mine looked worse than everybody else I'd move up the list!
I was sat in a three sided square, or a square with only three sides, not a triangle smart ass, a square with one of its sides taken away! Anyway, sat next to me on my left, were two well groomed lads in their twenty's texting and giggling. They had been assessed before I arrived so I didn't know why they were there. One of them had a limp, must have been a good night! At a right angle to the right of me was a young lad with his mum and dad, he'd hurt his ankle playing football. Opposite was an older man who had torn his bicep, looked nasty, and a middle aged man with something in his eye. This left one chair and was soon taken by number 25, a large man with an abscess on his face, toothache or something. It held a great fascination for me and I found myself staring at this huge lump growing out of the side of his face. I realised he had seen me looking so I averted my gaze downwards and wished I hadn't. The seam had gone in the crotch of his dirty brown trousers and he was trying to escape! Gross!
I shut my eyes and tried to sleep!!
I knew where I was on the list and after an hour and twenty minutes I was next. That was until a lady walked in who had crashed her car and her head hurt and an old man in a wheelchair wearing a crash-helmet, pushed by two carers, who had hurt his foot. Bollocks! Twenty minutes later a young Nurse Practitioner called me in.
Now I don't know if it was me, her, or it was the fact she was working on a sunny Saturday (I'd already been into work lady) but she was as grumpy as hell. Her lip actually curled up as she looked at me. I smiled, that didn't help! She started asking me a list of questions and I seemed to be doing fine until she asked me if I was allergic to anything. "Bites" was my reply. She stopped writing and looked at me with an evil stare tapping the paper with her pen. Looked like I had crossed some sort of line and I wasn't even trying to be funny. Fuck knows what would have happened if I had tried to be? She wasn't happy with my leg so she went for help. Now I had two of them staring at my leg and sucking their breath in between their teeth. I was beginning to feel like I was in a freak show for mechanics!
They came up with the consensus that I needed anti-biotics and a dressing, something I had suggested when I arrived at the place. My Nurse Practitioner went to get the tablets and a dressing and returned pulling on rubber gloves in an aggressive manner. She opened the dressing and promptly dropped it, I tried to stifle a laugh as she went out for another.
Dressing on and pills in hand I head for the door two hours after I arrived. "I need to see you again on Monday to check your progress" she says as I rush for the exit.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
7 comments:
Lol very very funny but you left out the bit where they spent ages deciding whether to admit you to hospital for IV antibiotics! You make your swollen infected leg sound like a really minor thing when in fact you narrowly escaped an oppurtunity to doss on a hospital bed, leaving me to sort a bored N3S on my own...Noooooooooooooooo!
ouch poor you, does it itch too?! himself has the same reaction to bites as you do, got bit on his eye lid whilst on hol in greece, we watched it swell up, what a mess, had to have steriod injections, the eye lid is weak now and closes when he is tired
hope it heals soon mate, you have my sympathy
It's a nurse thing..... think of enjoying yourself in front of them and they punish you the way they know best, endless return visits till they've got you trained into submission.....
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Get well soon!!!!!
I hope your legs feels better soon...take care of it and yourself!
Funny! Nothing worse is there? Sitting in a waiting room when you already know what the problem is, what needs to be done but you cant do it yourself and need the OK from the person on duty.
I once waited for three hours in the fracture clinic to be told my son had not broken his arm. Even I could see from the vast expanse of open space between the shattered ends of his bone that the doctor was wrong.
Hope your leg has subsided - have you tried a solution of lavender, rosemary and lemon scented eucalyptus essential oils as a bug repellant. It really does keep the buggers at bay.
Get well!
DJ; There was no way I was staying in there and let her stick a needle in me!
HI; That sounds nasty though my eyelids tend to shut when I feel tired too! Feels much better today thanks just the ankle and my foot swollen now.
P; I'm not sure how someone so young could have such a big chip on her shoulder.
K+J; Thanks, feeling much better!
QV; I waited with my son in the pouring rain for an hour in the middle of a football pitch for an ambulance, they said he had a sprained ankle. The nurse at A+E said he had a sprain so did the doctor. The x-ray showed his leg was broken, no wonder he shouted so loud when they touched it!
I'm a bug magnet, guess that's why so many people say 'bugger' when they see me coming!
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