By 7.30 last night the house was filling up with women, racks of clothes and a variety of scary looking items which pulsed, vibrated, throbbed and I was out of there!
I'd had experience of a women's night out and wasn't staying around for the festivities!
When I first met Heather we had been out a couple of times then she went back to Canada to visit family for three weeks (something I said?). She said when she got back she was going, with friends, to the local theatre to watch a show, would I like to come? Sure I would! OK, an important lesson here, find out what you are going to see before you go! We queued up to watch The Puppetry of the Penis with hundreds of baying women, I'd never seen anything like it and did my belt up another notch!
For those of you who don't know, The Puppetry of the Penis is a live show where, two well endowed Australian men spend an hour and a half making their meat and two veg into different items like.... meat and two veg.
I sat there trying to sink lower into the chair and listened to the 'ladies' sat in front of me chatting about penises they've known, it was quite informative. The show started and the compare came on, he was quite funny, what I could hear anyway. The 'ladies' in front were getting louder and were often shouting at the guy "COCK, WE WANT COCK!". By now I knew all about the penises of most the men in the city and they wanted more "COCK". At this point the comic was talking about pet names ladies called their vagina. Names were called out "Minnie Mouse" said one, "Fluffy" another "Puss Puss" and so on. Then one loud lady stood up and shouted "CUNT!". The place went silent! The 'ladies' in front of me were disgusted and couldn't believe what the "dirty bitch!" had said! But still the chant rang out"COCK, WE WANT COCK!". Soon enough they got their wish, I thought they were going to beat the shit out of each other fighting over the binoculars, not that they needed them!
To be fair it was entertaining though I'm not keen on KFC anymore! You'll have to go see it if you want to find out why!
Back to last night and at about 11pm I text to see if it was safe to come home, yes she lied. Me and SF walked home and his missus was walking up the road towards us. She had a vibrating butterfly thing strapped to her nether regions and was brandishing a vibrating pig and a row of plastic beads she was trying to ram up his arse. I think she might have had a glass or two of wine! When we got in most of the party goers had up and gone but the ladies were still packing up. I picked up a rather large pink cone (no ice cream in sight) pressed a button and wished I hadn't. I couldn't turn the fucking thing off!
Seems the ladies had a good time especially Sox who had to be poured into a taxi still wrapped in pink bondage tape. Good luck SF!!