Thursday, 31 May 2007

Road Rage!

Part of my job entails driving a Transit van conveying; colleagues and their bikes, mail bags and parcels. This morning while driving with The Big Guy we had to pass a line of parked cars causing the vehicles travelling towards us to stop. As we approached the waiting cars I smiled and waved my thanks to the woman sitting in the front of the queue as is the protocol. She glared back at us and as we passed she mouthed "WANKER!" at me! The Big Guy burst out laughing and I gently fumed to myself.
My mood was lightened shortly after when we saw Pissed Phil (a 'friend' of ours) cycling on the road ahead. We used to drive past him in the mornings and spray the window washers and get him wet. Since I got my new van the jets weren't as good so The Big Guy had taken to squirting him out of the window with his water bottle. We then progressed to a sort of water torture where we would drive up slowly behind him so he knew we were there then, either soak him or not as the mood would take us. The anticipation would fuck him up every time! Today we drove straight past him so he wouldn't know it was us and The Big Guy soaked him as we went past. Puerile but funny as fuck!
We were nearly at our destination when I had to stop at a T junction. On the road in front of me there were road works and the traffic was controlled by lights. Unfortunately the road we were on was partway through the roadworks and I couldn't see the lights. I waited until a break in the traffic and took a chance! When I got to the end of the roadworks a car was waiting for me so they could go, as their light had already gone green. I smiled and waved then the woman driving the car went fucking mental shouting and swearing at me. I thought her head was going to explode, her mood wasn't helped by The Big Guy pissing his pants with laughter!
I couldn't say anything to her in reply as I was in uniform in my works van and would have probably lost my job, but if you happen to read this blog, and you know who you are! I just want to say; "Get a fucking life you useless fat bitch! How the fuck was I supposed to know what colour the lights were? Did you want me to get out of the van, look, then run back to it when they changed hoping they would stay green? Fuckwitt! Did your life change because you had to wait at the lights for a couple of seconds more? No! I hate You!
Great, feel much better now!


her indoors said...

hi saw you saw me then at the lights LOL just kidding it weren't me honest!!!! its the case of 'no one gets to go before me!'

Delboy's Daughter said...

Completely unrelated but,,,,
You are the first person i know who likes Joe Dirt! I to am a fan of Dirt.
Hooray for the two of us.

Lady in red said...

remind me to keep out of your way when I'm driving