Lighten up!

I've not had a good day today.

It started badly when the cats started scratching at bedroom doors in the early hours and got progressively worse as the day wore on. Little things that shouldn't bother me were niggling under my skin and the more I tried to not let them get to me the worse they got. To top it all I have to do a small oration on Tuesday week and I have to learn all the words. I thought I knew them and was practising as I worked but I'd forgotten two important words and because I thought I knew it all I didn't have my prompt.

I was about ready to explode around now (I really should go back on my medication) when a gentleman got out of his car and marched up to me. Now he did say his name but I didn't quite catch it, something like Double-Barrelled-Plum-In-My-Mouth and he was waving a couple of cards in front of my face.

Him; "You put these through my door."
Me; "Nope."
Him; "You just did at number 6."
Me; "Nope."
Him; Getting a bit louder and redder "You did! I saw you!"
Me; "Nope. You might have seen someone but it wasn't me!"

Now he tries to open the bag on the front of my bike and look for the parcels I don't have.

Me; "You really don't want to be doing that!"
Him; "But I want my parcels!"
Me; "I don't have your parcels perhaps it was the van driver you saw?"
Him; "Van driver? Wheres the van driver?"
Me; Patting down my coat and shaking my head "Oh! I'm so sorry I seem to have left my crystal ball in the other coat!"
Him; At darker shade of purple "Name and number!"
Me; "What?"
Him; "I want your name and number so I can complain about you!"

I have a burning desire to tell him to 'take his face for a shit' but bite my tongue and show him my badge then leave him standing on the curb clutching his cards and looking for a pen.

By now I just about hate everybody and when I get home the cats can tell it's best to stay out of my way. I take off my coat and the phone rings. Great a tele-marketer who I can take my frustration out on. I answer the phone with a barked "YES!" and a little voice on the other end of the the line says "Hello it's Silly Scott."

Now Silly Scott is the magician who #3 son has coming to his birthday and cost a fortune but worth every penny because it made me smile. He rings up people and calls himself Silly then maybe I'm taking myself too seriously. When I get to number 6 tomorrow I'm going to post one of Silly Scott's flyer's through his door and maybe he'll phone him?

Maybe not!