Monday, 3 November 2008

Lighten up!

I've not had a good day today.

It started badly when the cats started scratching at bedroom doors in the early hours and got progressively worse as the day wore on. Little things that shouldn't bother me were niggling under my skin and the more I tried to not let them get to me the worse they got. To top it all I have to do a small oration on Tuesday week and I have to learn all the words. I thought I knew them and was practising as I worked but I'd forgotten two important words and because I thought I knew it all I didn't have my prompt.

I was about ready to explode around now (I really should go back on my medication) when a gentleman got out of his car and marched up to me. Now he did say his name but I didn't quite catch it, something like Double-Barrelled-Plum-In-My-Mouth and he was waving a couple of cards in front of my face.

Him; "You put these through my door."
Me; "Nope."
Him; "You just did at number 6."
Me; "Nope."
Him; Getting a bit louder and redder "You did! I saw you!"
Me; "Nope. You might have seen someone but it wasn't me!"

Now he tries to open the bag on the front of my bike and look for the parcels I don't have.

Me; "You really don't want to be doing that!"
Him; "But I want my parcels!"
Me; "I don't have your parcels perhaps it was the van driver you saw?"
Him; "Van driver? Wheres the van driver?"
Me; Patting down my coat and shaking my head "Oh! I'm so sorry I seem to have left my crystal ball in the other coat!"
Him; At darker shade of purple "Name and number!"
Me; "What?"
Him; "I want your name and number so I can complain about you!"

I have a burning desire to tell him to 'take his face for a shit' but bite my tongue and show him my badge then leave him standing on the curb clutching his cards and looking for a pen.

By now I just about hate everybody and when I get home the cats can tell it's best to stay out of my way. I take off my coat and the phone rings. Great a tele-marketer who I can take my frustration out on. I answer the phone with a barked "YES!" and a little voice on the other end of the the line says "Hello it's Silly Scott."

Now Silly Scott is the magician who #3 son has coming to his birthday and cost a fortune but worth every penny because it made me smile. He rings up people and calls himself Silly then maybe I'm taking myself too seriously. When I get to number 6 tomorrow I'm going to post one of Silly Scott's flyer's through his door and maybe he'll phone him?

Maybe not!

6 comments:

DJ Kirkby said...

Is it bad that I laughed while reading this? Sorry...I'll mkae it up to you later ;)

nitebyrd said...

I laughed but can't make it up to you. Actually, I was sort of pissy today so laughing was good. Thanks, Chopper.

Lady in red said...

my new colleague was in a cranky mood all day and didn't know why.

I really can't picture you getting mad with anyone.

I would love to see his face though so can I watch you post the flyer please

TOM FOOLERY said...

Hope to day was a better day for you TFx

Chopper said...

DJ; I see nothing funny here!

N; It's cathartic to laugh at others misfortunes. (I think I read that in a fortune cookie).

LinR; Probably SAD and I empathise with them.

TF; Today was odd so I may blog about it later in the week. Though by Saturday I may be hitting your cocktails!

Kahless said...

I had a mare on monday too. I was dead grumpy!