Integrity! Where has it all gone?

In March we gutted the downstairs cloakroom, had the walls re-skimmed and a new toilet and basin were fitted.

We were very pleased with it.

Pleased until now.

I had painted the walls blue, a light blue, sorry I can't be more specific without going to the shed to look at the tin. The paint stayed on until quite recently when it started to peel off. I painted it again and this time at the bottom of the wall it didn't dry in the same colour. We now have two tone walls.

I invested in a damp meter and we have damp. Not on all the walls just the bits that are darker than the other bits.

I phoned the plasterer and he said it was nothing he'd done.

I hunted through my stuff and found a warranty for a damp course we had done before we moved in 4 years ago and rang the damp firm. Before I even asked him to come and look at it he told me that the warranties were no longer valid. It was supposed to last 15 years and the firm is still trading but the warranty is no good.

We are owed money from another man who keeps promising to pay despite having a CCJ out on him still no sign of the money. This money would pay for the work to be done.

I was going to have a long rant about integrity but I can't be bothered, fill in your own blanks...!

Urban Dictionary

The Urban Dictionary definition of Chopski is: the person who always talks about cocaine and says how he has ounces coming out of his ass. "Hey chopski, you got any linears of yablonski?"

I would just like to say that person is not me!

I wonder what the Urban Dictionary says about you?

Mystery Shopper

I have a new sideline.

I get paid to do it but it doesn't make me rich or famous. I even get to do it from the comfort of my computer chair though other times I have to go out into the big bad world and do it.

I am a mystery shopper!

I get paid to buy stuff I want (on the last occasion something I actually needed) and then comment on the service I get. I've worked in retail so I know how shit the job can be but some people don't make it easy for me to say nice things about them. The criteria can be quite strict and this makes it a bit difficult if the member of staff is nice but crap at their job.

Then last week I had a reality check and the biter was bitten back!

Halfway through the day at work I was approached by a gentleman who got out his ID and showed me he was working undercover for my bosses and needed to check me over. He did all his checks and was happy I was doing the job correctly and to the expected standard. He would have had no qualms to wrap me over the knuckles if I was doing it wrong no matter how nice I was.

So, sales/customer service assistants of Great Britain beware you may be serving me in my position of mystery shopper sometime soon!

A-D-D?

I'm not sure but I think I have an attention deficit disorder. I see the inside of my brain as a bag of Rowntree Randoms with a compulsive urge to call people monkey face. This is difficult for me as I like things to be tidy and in rows and random doesn't fit in my brain. In the house it's different as I can stack things neatly and can walk away and in most cases come back and they are just how I left them. I say in most cases as I live in a house with two people who have Autism neither of whom have the stacking neatly in rows part! Numbers are important too, I'm not keen on odd numbers. When I wash my hands at work I have to dry them with six sheets of paper towel. I've tried less but it doesn't work and I have to sneak extra ones as if someone is watching me, checking. The stereo/TV volume has to be on an even number, my kids try and wind me up by putting it on an even number but I pretend it doesn't matter then change it when they aren't looking.

Bugger!

I've been distracted and am talking about my obsessive-compulsiveness not my attentionlessness. I spend a lot of time on my own at work, by the nature of the job not because I smell and everyone hates me I must add. I have plenty of time to think and I have great plans during this time, ideas to revolutionise the world or at least a 3 and a half mile radius round my house. My house is number 17 by the way and it isn't a problem that it's an odd number.

Note to self: FUCKING CONCENTRATE!!

So I have these ideas like the bicycle rickshaws instead of taxis idea I had ages ago, did nothing and now the bloody things are popping up all over the place. The problem with that idea was when I first thought of it it was positioned in my brain next to the monkey butlers and consequently the rickshaws had to be ridden by monkeys dressed in dinner jackets. When I said the idea out loud it had its own merits but was a bit unworkable. I had other ideas like the i-pad but that had Pirate issues and was more of an i-patch and came with a free parrot. "Pieces of eight!" Parrots also have even number issues so are okay in my book! Bluetooth was my idea too but that somehow got mixed up with Hollywood and ended up as a dentist porno!

But now I have a new idea! I want to share it with you all and I will as soon as I work out the teething problems and can keep it away from the rubber duck and the plastic saxophone.

Watch this space! Well not this space exactly because that would be stupid and would drive you mental after a few hours. I'll tell you when.

#3 son is a vampire

It's been a bit of an odd week though to have an odd week in this house is quite usual so does two odds make a normal and if so then we had a normal week which is odd which in turn is quite normal. Mmm I'm confused and have lost my train of thought! I keep telling myself not to write the first thing that comes into my head though who would win out of a giant mullet and killer tortoise might have made more sense.
#3 son is a vampire and his vampire friends come round to his room for a secret meeting everyday. Toby is one of them. George might be one too! There is a secret passage into the garden where there is a chest full of money which he used to buy his three screen TV (which has everything on it). He would give me some of his money but it's invisible so quite hard to spend. He doesn't drink blood you know and cant turn into a bat, he's not that type of vampire. Girls aren't allowed in the meetings apart from his mum and Ruby his other mum.
I better go and get him from school, he must be hungry though he doesn't seem keen on garlic at the moment!

I need answers!

I like to answer the bee questions, it's a bit of fun and you make friends. This saves me from latching on to random strangers in the street and following them home. Sometimes they tell the police I'm not their friend and this can become embarrassing.
One thing though, it would be cool if I knew the answer people gave to the bees as I have some questions I would really like the answer to.
Here's a couple; when buying a book on the Internet would you rather have free postage or a discount and pay for the postage? If you knew someone selling something you wanted would you buy it from them even if you had to pay slightly more than if you bought it from a large retailer?
I have an idea in my head that won't go away and I have hundreds of bloody questions but I will stick with these two for the moment. Anyone who has an opinion please leave a comment.Ta!

New begining

I've freshened up the blog and am going to make a conscious effort to blog a little more often that once a year. Note the new widget that Caroline has had made to promote her new book Like Bees to Honey. You can now follow me on twitter, that is if I sign DJ out and don't tweet as her. Widgets and Tweets! Shit I'm getting so bloody technical, next I'll work out how to program the VCR and set the clock on the microwave!