Oral Sex Light!

When you need to see where you're going..... er....... cuming!!??

Bit of Fluff??

Lets go home....

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get comfortable....

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take off your clothes....

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and have a good look at your pussy....

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Wonder Pets

If you don't have (or have access to) small children the Wonder Pets will mean nothing to you and if you do have kids you might have missed them presuming you had just had a hallucinogenic episode from taking too many illegal drugs.

Let me explain a little about what our children are being fed as entertainment on the TV. The Wonder Pets are three small animals superimposed onto a cartoon background; a duckling, a terrapin and a hamster. They live in cages at a school and when a call comes in to their special phone (a can on a bit of string) they don special capes and become the Wonder Pets.

They make a flying boat thing from meccano they have secreted around the classroom and then head out on their mission to rescue pets from disaster like; the Kitten (who was smaller than the hamster) who was floating away on a bit of driftwood in Venice to the Yak, Pig and Singing Bear who were drifting away in a hot air balloon. The Wonder Pets always manage to save the day with a rhyme, a song and especially team work!

If you think I have a vivid imagination please watch the Wonder Pets!

Wonder Pets Opening

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I'm soooo charitable

Today was a first for me, I felt sorry for a chav! The young lad had saved up all his money from robbing old ladies and small children. He had even traded in his Burberry cap for a bad copy down the market all to buy himself a car. The white Mini Metro gta was his pride and joy, he'd cleaned and polished it bought new hub-caps and a shinny petrol cap. Then on Thursday disaster happened, someone (perhaps they knew him) wrote with a black marker pen in large letters on the bonnet; COCK! I guessed he hadn't seen it because it was still there when I walked past the car this morning but when I walked back he was out with his girlfriend and a bucket of soapy water scrubbing. It was such a sad sight the pair of them in the howling gale and pouring rain getting their tracksuits wet trying to rub his cock off. I nearly shed a tear!

Ring of Confidence!

Sorry I've got nothng to add!!

New post!

I thought I better do a new post and here you go two for the price of one!

These are the Ultima Fence Post 595978 @ £12.99.

High level finishing.

Chamfered detailing.

Pressure treated timber.

Ideal for use with decorative fencing.

Size: D1500.

Size: D4'11.

This product is not available to purchase on-line.

The price shown includes our latest in store discounts.

A letter to myself!

Vi asked me to write a letter to myself when I was 13 years old so here it is:

Hey!

This is a letter from you in 31 years time.

I took a while before making up my mind what I was going to write because I don't want to influence your future choices too much. Not that I wouldn't like to tell you what to do and which direction to take but would you listen and if you did would it improve your lot? I don't know so I've decided just to tell you a few things that might help you a little but not drastically change your future path!

• The woman in the black raincoat and red scarf is a store detective.
• Stay away from Beta max.
• Don't try and understand women. All you need to know is men are from Mars, women are from Venus; think any deeper and you'll end up with your head up Uranus.
• Johnny Mathis is gay (gay is the word we use now for poof).
• However many times you use that pump it's not going to get any bigger!
• When someone suggests you break into a local tourist attraction don't, it's a lot of hassle and there is no money!
• Don't go and see 'Rosie Dixon night-nurse' until you are 18. The movie is crap and the court case is embarrassing.
• Under your pillow is not a good place for 'that' handkerchief.
• Long hair is not a good look and the pictures get hauled out often.
• Magic mushrooms are much better dried and not swallowed like oysters.
• When you are laying on the floor in a fight make sure you cover your face with your arms because a kick in the mouth smarts!
• Being sick on women doesn't get you laid!
• Nylon underpants are not good for you however funny the picture and caption on the front of them is.
• Bleach wont wash out.

I'm sure there are loads more but there are few to be getting on with. If I think of more and I get a chance I'll drop you another line. I'd say be good and be careful but I know I'd be wasting my time!

PS; When the ball goes on the roof don't climb up the drainpipe as it will come away from the wall and your arm will break in two places!