Friday, 16 November 2007

Gents - a review.




A little while ago DJ recommended a book to me which I promised I would read and write a review. This isn't something I'd done before and was a little reticent in case I hated the book and then had to slate it. Fortunately my worries were unfounded as I thoroughly enjoyed reading GENTS by Warwick Collins.



To be honest if I'd seen the book and picked it up I'd have probably put it straight back on the shelf. The cover is a row of large white sinks affixed to a sterile tiled wall with the promise of GENTS a novel. I've been in plenty of gents toilets in my time, most of which were very unsavoury, so why on earth would I want to read a novel about one?

Nevertheless I sat down with a large mug of tea, the book and a hint of trepidation. Apart from one trip to the loo (must buy smaller mugs) I didn't move from my spot until I finished it. Granted the book only has 172 pages but it was wonderfully written, I was able to transport myself into the world of EZ, Jason and Reynolds. By the end of the fifth chapter I had decided I knew how the story would end, I was wrong!

Gents held some form of nostalgia for me; not the fact I once got locked in a public toilet when my penny got stuck, or the time late at night two men emerged from the same cubicle causing me no end of consternation but for the BBC series of the Seventies/early Eighties, Play for Today. This tale would have slotted in there nicely portraying an unsavoury part of life in a serious, sympathetic and humorous way!

If you get an oppourtunity read a copy of Gents by Warwick Collins, you won't be disappointed!

Thursday, 15 November 2007

I've been Tagged!!

I've been tagged by The Lady in Red to do this;

8 passions in my life

Zebra crossings.
Supermarket car-parks.
Public toilets.
Personal hygiene.
Noise pollution.
Reality TV.
Fish.
Ear hair.

8 things to do before I die

Eat my weight in pickled onions.
Put my elbow in my ear.
Ride through the city naked on the back of a white tiger.
Score the winner in the FA cup final.
Not cough when I smell vinegar.
Invent a program that automatically deletes these questionnaires.
Cause havoc in one of those disabled peoples electric cars.
Drive the wrong way around the M25.

8 things I often say

You're going to put that where?
No Fucking way!
YOU say it won't hurt!
How much?
Put it back!
Dickhead!
I think you can get cream for that!
Orange!

8 Books I read recently

Allegiance To The King - Neil Downe.
Twelve inch cock -Ivor Biggon.
Daddy are We There Yet? - Miles Away.
Arse! - Seymour Butt.
Not Bogged Down In Reality - Jason Rainbows.
Split Personalities - Jacqueline Hyde.
Hole in the Bed - Mister Completely.
Fixing Computer Programs - Dee Bugger.

8 songs that mean something to me

If - Telly Savalis.
Do the Funky Gibbon - The Goodies.
The Chicken Song - Spitting Image.
With My Little Stick of Blackpool Rock - George Formby.
The Fastest Milkman in the West - Benny Hill.
‘Ello John, Got a New Motor - Alexei Sayle.
It’s Raining Men - The Weather Girls.
I’m Too Sexy - Right Said Fred.

8 Qualities I look for in a friend

Generosity.
Insanity.
The ability to laugh with me, not at me you bastards.
Cleanliness.
Likes to drive and not drink.
Haircuts.
Selection and predilection to share large quantities of fine wine!
Humour.

Wednesday, 14 November 2007

Monday, 12 November 2007

Diets!


My Pisem take on DIETS!

Diets by Chopski.

Dieting is easy just work off
more calories than you eat
then before you know it
you can see your feet!

_____________________________

Eating cranberries and blueberries is
a diet I devised
I may not lose any weight
but I'll be anti oxidized!

Sunday, 11 November 2007

Silent Sunday!

Busy day today and my head's a bit sore so all you get is this I'm afraid!



Saturday, 10 November 2007

Post it Notes.




Pisems for Aunty Vix. (I better not get arrested for some breech of copyright law or I'll be round to see you!)




Post it Notes by Chopski.

If your written messages are
often eaten by a goat
stick them high up on the wall
with a useful post it note!
______________________

Post it notes are usually
yellow square and bright
so I'm sorry that I missed it
when I came home drunk last night!

Thursday, 8 November 2007

7 year olds homework?




A couple about fireworks to help Vi's son with his homework?!





It's firework night what a wonderful sight
but Mr Smith's acting weird
he read the instructions wrong the rockets not gone
and he's set fire to his beard!
__________________________________

Whizz, bang, crash, pop, whoosh
goes the rocket as we watch it fly higher
with a burger in a bun and a sparkler for fun
we keep warm around the fire.